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According to what you wrote, she sounds very immature: emotionally, financially, and socially. She has a track record for making bad, presumably hasty decisions romantiy, financially, and socially. And with at least self-preservation reasons in mind (and for good reason), you're less than thrilled with all these things. Ok. So, let me ask you this: Looking back on why you might've asked her to you, do you not think, at the time, that you were being hasty/ immature-minded emotionally, financially, and socially? You had to have known something, or had seen some red flags/ signs of her issues, before you asked her to you. Money consciousness is important when you're married. Emotional depth and stability is important; social skills, so that you can expand your circle of friends as you age, also very important. But like attracts like your mind must have been in a position similar to hers when you asked her to you. Do you think that, maybe, you asked because you just didn't want to be alone? Maybe you were feeling pressured somehow or were being impulsive/ escapist? Problem with escapism is that reality always comes to collect. And here you are. I think now that you are engaged and are thinking in 'forever' terms with this woman, the foggy glasses of infatuation have been wiped clean. What you're seeing now, what you're describing to us here, is HER. It's all she's got. Things likely haven't changed since you met and, guess what? They're not going to change (in fact, you seem to describe things as getting worse). If I were you, I'd put the engagement/ all plans-making on hold (of course, you must let her keep the ring if you pause/ cancel things but it's a small price to pay, if you think about it). And don't let yourself get manipulated/ hoovered back into the engagement, for goodness sake. Remember, you likely got engaged to her because you mind/ inclinations were at one point on as unstable a level as hers.

Withers: Mehlman working for marriage in New York By Withers, contributing editor, Blog 9:04am EDT On Monday Mehlman, the former Republican National Committee chair, was in Albany lobbying undecided state senators to give their votes to a man looking for hookup same sex marriage. “A lot of the folks who have been working for a time on this effort said it would be helpful,” Mehlman said in an interview with the Advocate. The legislative session in New York ends on 20. There is no marriage on the table and Gov. Cuomo, supported by marriage advocates, only wants to one introduced when passage is certain. Not sure if Mehlman’s talking tour changed any minds, but he brought up points worth remembering “The first point was to make the case of why it’s consistent with the Republican values of freedom, of strong families and of following the Rule. The second was to speak about how the politics of this issue have changed and are changing as we speak.” I understand how readers feel about Republicans. Whenever we write about them, our message boards overflow with terms “Jews for Nazis” or “self loathing.” Phrases about as useful, and vacuous, as Uncle or Oreo. This is the takeaway from this story: in Mehlman ran the Bush-Cheney reelection campaign. That year the GOP pushed the anti marriage meme with no shame. The guy who had a hand in all of that is now publicly arguing for marriage equality. If you can’t that as a win, you thrive in a partisan fog.

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